Life has been a hazy blur lately.
Between travel, adult musings, and not renewing my contacts prescription on time — maybe you should read this with squinted eyes, too — I haven’t had a minute to catch my breath. And now I’m wheezing because of these stupid allergies.
I’m learning that being adult means never finishing your to-do list and opening every conversation with “Wow, I can’t believe how fast time is going.” Well, I think it’s about time we believed it.
I was a smug bitch at the end of my two week Mexico trip in Feb. A v chill central nervous system, the best tan I’ve ever had coupled with the best food I’ve ever eaten. I met every day for the next few weeks after that with a euphoric sense of ease. Gloating. Like I fully uncovered the meaning of life. It was a trip.
But then the blur happened. Vegas. New York. Seattle. Palm Springs. LA. New York. In the span of a just few weeks, I’d undone my chill state and dived deep into the ocean of distraction, keeping my brain strategically compartmentalized.
I’m not complaining. As busy as things have been, I’ve been able look at things at little differently. Less spiral, more practical. Because no good decisions come from spiraling, except my new dining table.
And what’s this all got to do with women? Everything and nothing at the same time.
It only takes one drink or one ear for me to start waxing on about how the matriarchy will save us. Read all about it here and then take me out for a martini:
In Vegas, I won $130 on my first roulette game and spent the entire week PMS’ing with my coworkers who I really love. That’s a bold statement because we all know how corporate goes. Amidst the madness of a conference, there was a lot of understanding. Constant acts of care for one another: From making sure the pregnant one in the group was feeling good, to bringing each other breakfast and deep chats at dinner about what womanhood actually looks like.
During my in-between week back in NYC amidst a 2-day shoot, I felt really held again. Besties asking if they could do any errands for me and phone call check ins. The absence of partner lately has started to feel less absent, as a new version of community as family holds shape - v matriarchal. Talking about MOTHER: The week ended at Kylie Minogue’s first ever MSG show and was a spectacular reminder that you shouldn’t stop dreaming even when you’re 56.
My first time in Seattle led me to restart Grey’s Anatomy from season 1 (!), have a life-changing hang with my bestie’s boss and host a dinner at Din Tai Fung with 6 amazing asian creators. I approached the evening with a biz as usual mindset, ready to tick off the jobs to be did, but was surprised to learn from these women how much they had been needing and craving the connection to each other. We all know what creator events can be like and as an emo I pride myself on being a banging host. I never considered that in smaller creator communities outside of LA and NYC, people desired real opportunities to talk, versus just showing up to take pictures. It was beautiful to listen to this diverse group of women’s stories, open up about their heritage, see them make friends, leaving Seattle a little less grey. What’s that quote about ‘what makes us different?…’ Lmk.
On my flight to Palm Springs while listening to Trey Songz, I suddenly lost all feeling in the right of my face. Instead of shitting my pants, I strolled to the back of the plane and was grateful enough when the alarmed stewardess found a nurse who just so happens to work in neurology to come and look at me. McKenzie, I didn’t get to thank you for your kindness but if you ever read this, just know you stopped me from having a panic attack on a delta flight. I tried to google you and nothing :(
I got to the desert with my face in tact just in time to spend a week with my friend turned boss turned friend. Through daily power walks in between zoom calls, we dreamed big about our own ventures, giving each other the pep needed to take some actual steps towards the things we’ve been cooking up. It was also during this magical week that I got to wrap up a really special project for my new biz venture that I’ve not told anyone about but felt so much joy to see my dear friend’s face as I walked her through her new brand.
The drive from Palm Springs to LA always gets me emo as I re-listened to Trey Songz (urg I know) and day-dreamed about how to connect all of these dots and package them for a newsletter.
When I finally got home, I was welcomed by my sweet-boo-thing-sister-babe, Jag, who’s spent the past 5 months back home in the UK. It’s been amazing to watch her step into her 30’s and herself as she leans into the things she loves. I’m always inspired by how she doesn’t take shit from anyone lol.
We kickstarted our weekend with her spinning at Jawani, a global celebration (in party format) of our culture. If you follow me on IG then you’ve def seen me stunt in some garms for this event. The night itself was ofc amazing — it’s not often we see a room full of proud Panjabi’s taking over Elsewhere. But in this moment, it was hard not to see just how male-dominated most of these spaces still are. How we have a ways to go in finding balance and women not feeling like they are one of few in the room.
It’s really nice being home and slowly easing back into routine. Last week I got on my bike and rode to greenpoint on a spring evening and it all felt a little dreamy.
I’m also continuing to keep my brain and biz occupied by working on a woman-owned dive brand, the genius brainchild of one of my besties and her friend and even though I sometimes feel like I have no compass as to what’s next, I feel grounded in the right now.
On Monday night I went to interview Zarna Garg and was surprised but not really at how warm she is. She was celebrating the launch of her first book and her six-year escalation to fame as a renowned comedian. She dropped so many gems that made this piece come full circle but i’ll leave you with this:
“We’re so busy trying to find the next thing that we ignore what’s already in us. If I waited for everyone’s approval I’d never get anything done.”
It’s giving matriarchy.
🎀
❤️❤️❤️
Ooh I loved this!